so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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