Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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