whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
