She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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