Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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