i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
