i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
don't judge my taste in strippers
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
