Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am available for nakedness
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
