Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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