The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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