I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
