If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize