Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
