If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize