Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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