Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize