Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
