actually, I'm a sock model
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
