She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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