so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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