OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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