She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
