I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
