My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
