were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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