1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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