I hate all girls vehemently.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
