is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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