You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
