Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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