she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize