I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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