hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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