it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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