Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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