Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
