maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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