Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
