the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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