Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
