we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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