I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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