I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
