Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
vagina is talking i cant
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
