Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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