McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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