dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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