There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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