Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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