i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Enjoy the penises
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
