Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
