I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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