i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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