I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize