We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
