remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize