take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
