Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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