Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize