the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
