White coat. Heels.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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