Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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