You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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