Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
