Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
