Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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